Brother In Law
My brother-in-law went to the doctor complaining of a very difficult timeachieving an orgasm.The Dr said "which position do you use?""Doggy style," said dumb shit."why don't you go home and tonight try it missionary position and see ifthat works any better." said the Dr."We've tryed that" he said, "but my dogs got such baaadddd breath!"
A constantly nagged and harried husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.
The next year Christmas came again and this year he didn't buy her any gift.
Mother-in-law was upset and asked the son-in-law why was she forgotten this time.
The angry son-in-law responded, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
Mother: “Soooo… you want to become my son-in-law.”
Suitor: “No, but I don’t see any other way to marry your daughter.”
We were coming to a red light, and he shoots right through it. I ask him, "Why'd you do that?" He tells me this is how his brother drives.
We come to another red light, and again, he shoots right through it. I ask him, "Why'd you do that?" Again, he tells me this is how his brother drives.
We come to a green light, and he SLAMS on the brakes. My heart nearly goes into my throat. I shouted at him, "Why do you do that?!"
He replied, "You never know, my brother could be coming the other way."
What do you call two Vietnamese in a Trans Am? The gooks of hazard.
Little Brother: I'm going to buy a sea horse.
Big Brother: Why?
Little Brother: Because I want to play water polo!